Are you struggling in retirement? Do you feel lost, lonely, and even, past your best? You’re not alone.
Thousands upon thousands of retirees feel the same. Why?
Because they have a fixed mindset.
How do I know?
Because I did. And it almost destroyed me.
A fixed mindset
My fixed mindset led me to believe that my qualities, talents, and intelligence could not be improved. And that people who were successful in life were lucky enough to be born with a particular talent. I feared failure and thought “nothing ventured, nothing lost.”
My outlook on life changed beyond measure when I developed a growth mindset. Challenges excited me and I used them as a springboard for growth. I no longer feared negative feedback, I thrived on it. And I embraced lifelong learning.
Interestingly, when I look back on the many challenges I’ve encountered in life, (being wrongly diagnosed with just six months to live was one of them) I can see quite clearly that they have all led, in some way, to amazing and transformational outcomes.
Shifting my mindset
I’m one of the lucky ones, able to shift my mindset from one that did not serve me – a fixed mindset, to one that did a growth mindset. I wish I could tell you this was an easy process. For me, it was quite extreme – involving a 30-day silent retreat in a monastery in Wales. Being there allowed me to be still, to shift focus, and to remove the blockages that had, for a very long time, been stopping me moving forward in life.
A helping hand
When I started working with retirees and those about to retire, I thought I could help them shift their mindsets too. I tried, believe me I did, but no matter how hard I worked at it, I could not.
I soon realised that moving from a fixed to a growth mindset is an individual journey; one that needs to be done in your own time, at your own pace. I can help, guide, and even give direction, but ultimately, some people may never reach their destination because they don’t believe that they can.
Belief is power. It’s everything.
Fixed or growth mindset?
You may be reading this and wondering whether you have a fixed or a growth mindset. To help you work that out, I’ve adapted a little quiz from Carol Dweck’s book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, click here to see if you have a fixed or growth mindset. The book is also a brilliant read if this type of thing interests you, here is the link if you wish to order your copy.
A fixed finale
So why does all this matter?
People with a fixed mindset really struggle in retirement. They may enjoy the freedom at first, but then they become stuck. They just don’t know how to fill their time. Their identity and self-esteem slowly ebb away, leaving them isolated and depressed.
And if that’s not bad enough, because of their mindset, they are much more likely to succumb to illness – emotional, mental, and physical – and to ultimately lead unfulfilled lives until their dying day.
It doesn’t have to be this way
Let’s end on a positive. It is entirely possible to change your mindset, as well as your attitude to the world, and the way you see yourself. Neuroscience indicates that because the brain is flexible and always making new connections, we are capable of growth and change at any age. If you have a fixed mindset and it’s not serving you, try this:
- Embrace new experiences as these form and strengthen neural pathways
- Stop talking down to yourself as this can impair your ability to progress
- Congratulate yourself not only on achievements, but on the effort it took to get there
- Ask for honest feedback and use it as a motivational tool
- Leave your comfort zone and do something that scares you
If you do just some of these things, you will, in my opinion, have a much better chance of experiencing a remarkable retirement. One that’s not defined by what went before. This becomes a new beginning, a different chapter, and you, and only you are the author of it. To discover how, please get in touch to arrange a no obligation discovery call.
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